What NOT to do While Dog Sitting:

• When the owner says do not allow the dog to go downstairs, she means it!
• If you ignore the dog and she goes downstairs, at least clean up the seven piles of poop so the owner doesn't know she got down there at least seven times.
• Ditto the three puddles of pee.
• Do not take the owners car and lose the keys and remote starter.
• Or run all the gas out of the owners car while racking up the miles on it.
• Do not empty the fifth of Kahlua even though it was only half full.
• Do not empty the half gallon of vodka, even though it was only half full.
• Do not open the bottle of Black Velvet and drink a third of it.
• Clean the house so that it looks like it did when you got there. It was spotless when she left and a sty when she got home.
• Do not help yourself to the owners facial wash and shave cream and leave them in the hall bathroom.
• Do not leave cigarette butts on the floor in the garage.
• If your car leaks oil, do not park it in the garage.
• Do not store your pajamas behind the washing machine... trust me, the owner will find them.
• Do not stash the lint from the dryer between the washer and dryer.
• Most of all, pay attention to the dog like you assured the owner you would. She did not pay you so that she could come home and re-train her dog!